Self-Treating Feet with the "Resting Hands" Grief Massage Technique

In one of last weeks posts I shared about the resting hands technique along with a short self-treatment relaxation protocol for practicing it.

I’ve practiced the protocol myself in various ways over the past few days: lying on a sofa, reclining on the living room couch and even sitting outside on a blanket in the fall weather.

And I’ve consistently found that self-treating my feet is one of the most relaxing parts of the protocol.

Which, made me curious about why.

On Feet

Curious about why feet seem especially receptive to resting hands, I spent some time yesterday afternoon digging into my library.

I spread out several massage, mind-body and alternative health books and dug in while my cat napped quietly nearby. I had all afternoon, was extremely curious, and was looking for as much information about feet as possible!

Here’s some of what I learned:

In an average lifespan, our feet take enough steps to circle the earth 4 times!

Our heels always hit the ground first!

Feet have similar sensory patterns to our hands - lots of sensory distribution! This means when we massage our own feet with our own hands, our body can focus on the foot massage sensation without getting distracted by what our hands are sensing. This is why self-treatment of feet can feel so good!

That’s the biological part.

From a grief perspective, I also spent some time considering how our feet are a big part of what carries us through the before and after of loss.

Our feet carry us to places we never hoped to find ourselves: hospitals, funerals, cemeteries. While our heads are spinning, our hearts are breaking, and our soft bodies are heavy with the stress of loss, our feet hold us up.

Our feet courageously find ways to plod on.

And usually the work of our feet is invisible.

During times of stress and grief we can pay so much attention to our head (all those thoughts!) our hearts (all the emotional ups and downs!) and the common physical manifestations of grief (sore body, fatigue, headaches, stress symptoms) that our feet go unnoticed.

In all my experiences working with grieving massage clients, I don’t think I’ve ever once had someone mention that their feet were the primary area of stress, pain and holding grief.

So, feet can become almost invisible. They do their humble work, carrying on - carrying us on - so silently.

Perhaps it’s a combination of factors including the matched sensory patterns in our hands and feet (allowing our body to pay attention to the sensations of foot self-treatment) and the tendency of our feet to work long hours with little extra attention that can make the resting hands technique so stilling, calming and grounding there.

Applying Resting Hands for Feet

In my own self-practice, I’ve found that it feels good to use two basic hand positions on the foot:

1- “Resting Hands Sandwich”: This position consists of wrapping my hands around the toes and tip of the foot (one hand on top and one beneath). It’s like making a sandwich: my hands are the bread and the tip of my foot is the filling. I do this hand position first and hold for at least a minute, maybe longer.

2- “The Heel Sling”: This position follows the “Resting Hands Sandwich” and is a hand position that cradles my heel with one hand while the other hand wraps over my ankle. It’s a cradling position that holds the back of my foot like a sling. It feels very containing and calming. Again, I do this hand position second and hold for at least a minute, maybe longer.

For both of the resting hands positions, I use firm enough pressure that the hold feels secure through the fabric of my fuzzy socks. If I’m not wearing socks, I hold firmly enough that the warmth of my hands feels snug against my bare feet.

While skin contact is good, I personally like to wear warm fuzzy socks while doing the self-treatment with resting hands. The sensation of the wooly fabric feels nourishing and relaxing. Of course you can try both options and see what is grounding and helpful for you!

Understanding More About Resting Hands

While researching information about feet, I also stumbled on some helpful insights about the resting hands position itself! If you haven’t read my post about the resting hands massage technique, learn about it by clicking here. The information I will be sharing below is supplemental to what I shared in that post.

Reading the book, “The Psychology of the Body" 2nd Ed.”, I learned about a technique the authors term “still-handed touch” or “nurturing touch” - it seems very similar to resting hands.

In the context of the books section on different armoring types, the authors discussed the use of “still-handed touch” with a specific armoring type that could be seen in a massage client. For my purposes, the information on armoring wasn’t as important as what was shared about “still-handed touch” in general.

What I loved learning about was that this technique (which uses that whole palm of the hand like “resting hands” does) is that it allows for a feeling of support without having to “do” anything as a client.

For example, during a massage session, instead of tracking and reporting body sensations to the massage therapist, a client can relax into “still-handed touch” and just be. A technique like “still-handed touch” or resting hands can help take pressure off of the client to actively engage.

And, the authors note that “still-handed touch” can be useful for releasing excess energy (not as a form of energy work though).

This information all matched up with my experience of using the resting hands technique, even when used on myself and especially at my feet.

There’s a feeling of comfort and security for my feet as they are being held securely - even though it’s my own hands doing the holding. I have noticed a real feeling of containment, an awareness of the boundaries of my physical self. It’s calming.

I appreciated how, in “The Psychology of the Body" 2nd Ed.”, the authors noted that some clients may feel bored or restless with “still-handed touch”. They note that holding for a longer period of time can sometimes allow that client to come out on the other side of the boredom and restlessness, to experience the positive aspects of the holding.

I wonder if that boredom or restlessness may come up for you when practicing resting hands on yourself?

Is there an urge to want to “do something”? To “do more”?

As I shared in my earlier post about resting hands self-treatment, I love that this protocol not only gives us a chance to give ourself the gift of touch and relaxation…it also allows us to experience the resting hands technique as a client might. To “get to know it”.

The Power of Rest is in Our Hands

If you haven’t tried self-treatment with resting hands, perhaps simply doing the two hand positions (“Resting Hands Sandwich” and the “Heel Sling”) is a simple way to start.

Since our feet are evenly matched with our hands in sensory distribution, our body can more fully enjoy the sensations without being distracted by what our hands are doing.

You may decide to wear comfy socks or practice in bare feet.

You may decide to lay down (bringing your leg and foot up so you can reach).

Or you might sit comfortably (indoors or outdoors) while practicing.

Since resting hands is simply holding your hands on your body, it is likely to be safe and comfortable. Of course, if you have physical limitations that make it hard to reach your feet, you may decide to practice resting hands on another area. And, of course, if you are ill or uncomfortable while practicing resting hands, check with your physician to ensure it’s safe for you to practice nurturing self-touch.

As massage therapists and healers, we can grow used to streaming our compassion outwards toward others. This is valid and worthy, as the world needs our warmth.

But, it’s essential that we also develop a regular habit and practice of streaming our compassion back into ourselves as well.

Resting hands is a simple, enjoyable way to give yourself the same caring touch you give others.

And, as we’ve learned, your feet are a beautiful place to start practicing!

References

Fritz, S. (2000). Mosby’s fundamentals of therapeutic massage 2nd edition. Mosby, St. Louis: MO

Greene, E. & Goodrich-Dunn, B. (2014). The psychology of the body 2nd edition. Lippincott, Williams & Wilkins, Philadelphia: PA