Your Calling: Making Meaning Matters. Finding Purpose Heals.

Note: This article originally appeared in my Grief Massage Newsletter. To receive articles like this in your inbox monthly, be sure to subscribe here.

In teaching about Grief Massage for the past several years, I've noticed that many of the massage therapists who seek training are not simply interested in this work on a surface level.

Rather, many of the massage therapists I have trained feel CALLED to this work.

I can relate, because I feel called too.

My Story

My work grew out of an enormous loss - my brother Chris died suddenly and traumatically in 2005 when he was just 20 years old and I was just 24. This propelled me to seek healing in any way possible and for me, healing first began on the massage table.

My shattered heart, soul, body and nervous system felt safe, restored, and peaceful for the very first time since his death when I received a simple Swedish practice session from another massage therapy student.

We were just learning the earliest basics of massage at that time - and the massage was on lower legs and feet only. Who would have thought that something so simple and basic could be profound? But it was. I felt safe and that made all the difference - I will never forget it.

Everything I've done has grown from that moment. There has been something burning inside of me since then - a mission, a purpose. It's like that first moment on the massage table lit a candle - a lantern - that has been kept burning ever since.

That light has helped me to make meaning and find purpose in the midst of my unfixable loss.

I love the quote, attributed to Nietzsche that says "He who was a why to live can survive almost any how."

Surviving Almost Any How

I can relate deeply to that Nietzsche quote, as my calling to create and share Grief Massage has given me a true WHY.

There have been times when that light of my calling has dimmed, surely.

When my mother, Karen died suddenly and traumatically in 2009, I felt so broken that I was unsure I would continue to develop this modality. In taking time to heal, and grieve, my Grief Massage work actually deepened through that experience.

Truly, I understand sudden and traumatic loss in an intimate way, having gone through it twice at such a young age.

I'm sharing my experience because I want you to know that if you feel CALLED - to this work, or to any work - it's truly a gift because it can give you a WHY.

Despite the challenges and the times when the light inside of you may dim, your WHY can inspire you to survive almost any how.

A big aspect of my own calling and my own work is to support you, the massage therapist who cares about grieving people, by providing a path forward, by blazing a trail, and by creating an example of what is possible. 

Today, the day before what would have been my brother Chris' 35th birthday, it means so much to me to be sitting here with tears in my eyes, typing a message to you. 

Don't give up on the work you feel called to do. You don't have to force it, and it's okay to experience times when that light inside you is so dim that it's nearly gone out.

But don't give up. You can trust this. You can listen to your heart. Hold onto your WHY.